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Dirty Pick Up Lines

Most people say you shouldn’t use dirty pick up lines. That’s not true at all. . Dirty lines work very well, especially for girls. Girls can use them whenever they want because they are the ones who get to choose.

For guys, just remember those girls are dying for some real hot and sweaty action just as much as you. A girl will smile or laugh as soon as you use these types of lines to acquire her attention. A funny pick up line can say so much in regards to the guy who’s using it when it’s delivered the most suitable way.  Make sure you use the right ones below!

Dirty lines work well in all kinds of situations, especially in a place where someone would least expect them (try them in the supermarket). A word of warning, only use dirty chat up lines when you are sure no one else can hear, or they can backfire on you.

Top 100 Dirty Pick Up Lines That Are Dirty, Rude and Filthy

  1. Your ass is so nice that it’s a shame that you’ve to take a seat on it.
  2. You look a good deal like my upcoming boyfriend.
  3. Your clothes are dirty, take them off.
  4. The word for tonight is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word?
  5. Hey baby, I’m kind of cold, Can I use your thighs as earmuffs?
  6. Are you from Japan? Because i’m trying to get in Japanties.
  7. I’m Irish, wanna taste my lucky charms?
  8. Do you sleep on your stomach? “NO.” Can I?
  9. You remind me of my pinky toe, your small, cute, and i am probably going to bang you on my coffee table later tonight.
  10. Hey, I’m from the Middle East, and i have a weapon of mass destruction in my pants.
  11. Sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?
  12. My dick is similar to catnip, it will earn a cougar just like you go wild.
  13. Roses are red, violets are blue, we’re having sex, cause I’m stronger than you.
  14. Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.
  15. I can teach you how to handle a cucumber. if ya know what i mean.
  16. Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?
  17. Hi, i’m peter pants-less. wanna go to never-neverland?
  18. Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
  19. You need something to shut that big mouth of yours!
  20. If I was a robot and you were one too, If I lost a bolt would you give me a screw?
  21. I love bangs–and I don’t just mean the haircut.
  22. You’re on my list of things to do tonight.
  23. Some men go around telling women they have an eight inch penis; I’d never shortchange myself like that!
  24. I love every bone in your body…. especially mine.
  25. Do you live on a chicken farm? [No] You sure know how to raise cocks.
  26. Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
  27. Yeah. I’m an asshole, but will that stop me from getting in yours?
  28. You are rubber, I’m glue, what ever you say, I bet I will f**k you.
  29. F**k me if I’m wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
  30. I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
  31. My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
  32. Are you a cowgirl cause I can see you riding me.
  33. Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
  34. Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
  35. I’m a zombie, can I eat you out?
  36. I would call Heaven and tell them an angel was missing, but I’m kinda hoping you’re a slut!
  37. The last woman I was with said, “Kiss me where it stinks.” So, I drove her to New Jersey.
  38. If we were both squirrels, would you play with my nuts?
  39. I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
  40. Roses are red, violets are blue, NOW GET UR ASS IN THE VAN!!!!
  41. I would tell you a joke about my penis….buts its too long.
  42. I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
  43. I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
  44. All I want is peace and quiet, give me a piece and I’ll be quiet.
  45. Smile if you want to sleep with me.
  46. You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
  47. My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties…oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast.
  48. If being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
  49. This bar is not big enough for the both of us. My face is leaving in ten minutes; be on it!
  50. That dress is beautiful, but it would look even better on my bedroom floor.
  51. Your clothes are dirty, take them off.
  52. I’m not just good at cleaning things, I can make them dirty too.
  53. Are u a dirty sort Because you’re one hell of a rub.
  54. I’m not a dick in real life, but I’ll play one in your vagina tonight!
  55. You’re prettier than anyone I ever met in the joint!
  56. My penis is like a dictionary want me to blow your mind?
  57. You’re as dirty as my browser history.
  58. Are u a maths teacher? cause u got me harder than calculus.
  59. Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?
  60. You: Hey, I don’t feel to good. Her: Why? You: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Her: What? You: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
  61. Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.
  62. First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I’ll move up to your belly button.
  63. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
  64. I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo?
  65. I’ll treat u like my homework,slam u down on the table and do u all night.
  66. Hey I might make your kitchen dirty but in the end You’re a 9 and I’m the 1 you need!
  67. My dick just died, can I bury it in your vagina?
  68. You can touch mine if I can touch yours with mine.
  69. Hi! can i stir your drink, mind if i use my dick.
  70. Hi, i’m a burglar and I’m gonna smash your back door in!
  71. I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz every time your around my dick swells up.
  72. Are those lumberjack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
  73. I’m an interior decorator. I can fill your interior; I see something big and pink.
  74. Bring a teabag and screw in your pocket. Go to the bar hold up the teabag and screw and ask if she wants to teabag or screw.
  75. So, what are the chances of my balls slapping your *** tonight?
  76. How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!
  77. Lets play circus, first sit on my face i’ll guess your weight and i’ll eat the difference.
  78. Having sex is a lot like golf. I’m always happy when I get a hole in one.
  79. Hey babe, wanna see the exponential growth of my natural log?
  80. I wish you were my homework, because then you’d be hard, and I’d be doing you on my desk, or on my bed, or in the library.
  81. Ouch i just bit my lip. Can you kiss it better?
  82. Are you a cowgirl cause I can see you riding me.
  83. Are those Guess jeans? ‘Cause guess who wants to get into them.
  84. You: “Are you cold?, Her: “Yes”, You: “You want a jacket?”, Her: “Sure”, You: “Well, not here, you can jack it when you get back to my room.”
  85. You’re like my little toe, because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
  86. Your mom was pretty good, so i figured you would be too.
  87. If we were squirrels would you let me bust a nut in your bush.
  88. Let go back to my place and practice some math, we can subtract our clothing, divide your legs, and multiply.
  89. I’m not feeling myself today, may i feel you instead.
  90. That shirt is very becoming on you. But then if I was on you, I’d be coming too.\
  91. Hi my names pogo, wanna jump on my stick?
  92. Have you ever bought a vibrator? (No.) Do you want to rent one?
  93. Wanna do something that rhymes with truck?
  94. Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I’ll throw you my meat.
  95. How much does your clothes cost? (Woman says “Why do you want to know?”) Cause I`ll need to know how much to pay you back after I rip them off.
  96. Are you a fishing line you’ve hooked me in.
  97. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
  98. How do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or unfertilized?
  99. Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your penis] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
  100. My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.

 

5 comments

  1. Are you from little ceases because your hot and I’m ready

  2. I think, this is the best and biggest collection of funny pick up lines dirty. Always thankful that you shared.

  3. Is your daddy a cook cuz you got some hot buns

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