Clean Funny Baby Jokes

Clean Funny Baby Jokes

If you want some clean funny baby jokes, then you are in the right place. You’ll sure love these jokesĀ if you love babies.

Hungry Baby

A lady with her baby go to the hospital. After reaching there, the doctor checks the baby, and notices that the baby was not gaining enough weight and questions the lady, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?” “Oh he is breastfed!”, responded the woman.
“Well then, strip down to your waist,” requests the doctor.
She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examining table.
The doc begins squeezing, rubbing and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very precise and careful examination.
The doctor asks her to get covered, and then the doctor replies, “No surprise this baby is so starving. You don’t have any milk!”
The lady with an ironic grin on her face replies, “Well, of course, I don’t, I’m his aunt!”

It’sĀ Coming

Far In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly’s wife ran into labor in the midst of the night, and the doctor was invited to assist in the delivery. As there was no light, the doctor gave the father-to-be a lantern and told, “Here. You carry this high, so I can see what I am
doing.”
Shortly, a baby boy was born into the world. “Whoa there, responded the doctor, “Don’t be in such a hurry to place that lantern down. I believe there’s another one coming.”
After few minutes, a baby girl was born. “Hold that lantern up, don’t put it below there’s another one coming!” the doctor said.
Within a few minutes, a third baby was delivered.
“No, don’t be in a rush to put down this lantern, it appears there’s yet another one coming!” moaned the doctor.
The redneck scraped his head in confusion, and questioned the doctor, “You reckon it might be the light that’s attracting ’em?

April Fool

A man’s wife went into labor on the 1st of April. Though the wife was having her baby, the husband waited deliberately outside. Around 30 minutes later a doctor appeared with a small baby covered in a pink blanket. The doctor then tossed the baby on the ground. Picked it back up and threw it at the wall. Then he ran over to it and started to strike it and tear off its arms and legs. The father held there shocked!
Then doctor spun around laughing and responded: “April fools, it was already dead!!”

Future Plans

A woman was expecting with triplets, and they were inside of her chatting each other. The first one stated, “I desire to be a cave explorer because I need to know why it’s extremely dark in here.” The second one said, ” I want to be a diver because I need to know why it’s so damp in here.” “Well,” the third one said,”when I grow up, I want to be a spy as I want to know who’s that bald headed guy that keeps coming in and out of here!”

Genius

Two sisters went for shopping with their babies. They chose they would spend the night together. One of the sisters had another cradle for her sisters baby to sleep in there. One baby was a girl, and another one was a boy. Both babies were one-year-old. At night babies, were in their cribs. The boys speak to the girl, “I’m a boy. Are you a boy or a girl?” The girl responds, “I don’t know”. The boy was shocked and said, “You don’t know?! Can I ascend in your crib and show you?” The girl replies, “Ok”. The boy climbs in and looks under the blanket. The boy states, “Oh you are a girl!” The girl responds, “How did you identify?” The boy, “Your socks are pink and mine’s blue.”

She Ate It

A six-year-old boy was so excited about his unborn baby brother or sister, and he kept mentioning his class teacher about it.
One day the mother let the kid feel the movements of the unborn child.

The 6-year old was apparently impressed, but he made no remark.

Moreover, he quit telling his teacher about the coming event.

The teacher eventually sat the boy on her lap and spoke, “Tommy, whatever became of that unborn baby you were expecting?”

Tommy broke into tears and stated, “I believe Mommy ate it!”

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