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funny jokes for adults

Funny Jokes For Adults

Really Funny Jokes For Adults Dirty And Clean

If you’re feeling a bit naughty then take a look these really funny jokes for adults dirty and clean that will put smile on your face for sure.

Double Insult

A lady takes the bus with her baby. The driver says: ”Ugh, that is the ugliest child I’ve ever seen!” The lady strolls to the back of the bus and takes a seat, seething. She says to a man alongside her: ”The driver just offended me!” The man replies: ”You go up there and berate him. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Screwed

A man strolls up a beach and sees a decent young lady without any arms and no legs crying. The man strolls up to her and inquires as to why are you crying? The young lady answered: I have no arms and legs I am hopeless, and I have never been kissed. So the man does what he supposes is correct and kisses her and continues his walk when he hears her crying twice as hard. What is it now he inquires? I am hopeless, and I have never been ******. So the man gets the young lady hurls her into the sea and says: You’re ****** now!

Dirty Mind

The sixth grade science teacher asked her class, “Which body part increments to 10 times its size when stimulated?” No one responded in due order regarding quite a while till little Mary stood up, furious, and said the teacher ought not be asking sixth graders a question like that. She was going to tell her parents, who might tell the principal who might fire the teacher. The teacher disregarded her and posed the question once more, “Which body part increments to 10 times its size when stimulated?” Finally Billy stood up and said that the body part that builds 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye. The teacher said “great, Billy,” then swung to Mary and said, “With respect to you, young woman, I have three things to say: 1. you have a filthy mind, 2. you didn’t read your homework, and 3. one day you will be, exceptionally disappointed.”

Need More

Three girlfriends goes on a vacation.  They see a sign on the five-story building: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends, they choose to go in.

The bouncer, an extremely alluring fellow, disclose to them how it works. “We have five stories. Each floor has a sign on it and once you get what you are searching for, you can stay there. It’s anything but difficult to choose following every floor has a sign letting you know what’s inside.”

So they begin going up, and on the first floor the sign peruses: “You can find short and plain men on this floor.” The companions chuckle, and without a second thought proceed onward to the following floor.

The sign on the second-floor peruses: “Every one of the men here is short, great looking.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the companions proceed up.

They achieve the third floor and the sign peruses: “Every one of the men here are tall and plain.” despite everything they need to improve, thus knowing there are still two stories left, they continued onward.

On the fourth floor, the sign is impeccable: “Every one of the men here is tall and good looking.” The ladies get energized and are going to go in when they understand that there is still one story left. Pondering what they are missing, they make a beeline for the fifth floor.

There they locate a sign that peruses: “There are no men here. This floor was manufactured just to demonstrate that there is no real way to satisfy a lady.”

Parrot With A Hard Carrot

A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet, and his owner is nauseated. He places him in the fridge to chill. Later the owner returns and opens up the fridge and discovers the parrot sweating.

“Why you’re sweating” he inquires

The parrot answers

“Do you know how difficult it is to open up the legs of a frozen chicken?”

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