Happy Birthday Jokes

Happy Birthday Jokes

Clean Happy Birthday Jokes For Friends, Adults And Kids

A birthday’s not a birthday without the laughs. We have selected these funny happy birthday jokes to make your birthday a happy one and full of laughter’s. These jokes on birthday are clean and can be used in kids and adults birthday.

Happy Birthday To You

A company hires a Blonde airhead for a job interview.

The questioner begins with the basics.

“Miss, would you be able to let us know your age, please?”

The blonde checks deliberately on her fingers for a large portion of a moment before answering “Ehhhh… 22!”

The questioner tries another clear one to break the ice.

“Furthermore, would you be able to let us know your height, please?”

The young woman stands up and produces a measuring tape from her bag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the highest point of her head. She checks the estimation and reports “Five foot two!”

This isn’t solid, so the questioner goes for the genuine essentials; something the interviewee won’t need to check, measure, or lookup.

“Just to affirm for our records, your name please?”

The moron weaves her head from side to side for around ten seconds, mouthing something quietly to herself, before answering “MANDY!”

The questioner is totally perplexed at this stage, so he asks – “What on the planet would you say you were doing when I asked you your name?”

“Ohhhh, that!” answers the moron… ” I was simply going through that tune – ‘Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday dear…’ ”

Birthday Gift

My family was extremely poor when I was a child and the only gift I received on my birthday was a year older.

Little Jimmy Birthday Gift

Little Jimmy was yelling out a request to God for his birthday. “Please God, all I need for my birthday is another X-Box. Much obliged to you.”

His mother strolled in and said, “Jimmy, why all the yelling? God isn’t deaf.”

“I know,” said Jimmy. “However, Grandpa is.”

Chocolate Cake

The housewife addressed a knock on the door and discovered a man standing in front of the doorstep.

“Pardon me for aggravating you, ma’am,” he said affably, “however I pass your home every morning on my approach to work, and I’ve seen that consistently you have hitting your child on the head with a chunk of bread.”

“That’s a truth.” “Consistently you hit him on the head with a chunk of bread, but then toward the beginning of today you were beating him with a chocolate cake.”

The housewife responds”Well, today is his birthday.

Diamonds

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. A week ago I asked her what she needed as a present. “Damn it, I don’t have the foggiest idea,” she said. “Simply give me something with diamonds.” That is the reason I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.

Ten Again

A man asked his wife, “What might you most like for your birthday?” She said, “I’d love to be ten once more.” On the morning of her birthday, he got her up splendid and early, and they went to an amusement park. He put her on every ride. The Wall of Fear, The Screaming Loop, The Death Slide. She had a go on every ride there was. She stumbled out of the amusement stop five hours after the fact, her head reeling and her stomach turning. At that point, the were headed toward a motion picture theater where they ate popcorn and desserts and drank Cola. Finally, she amazed home with her spouse and crumpled into bed.

Her spouse hung over and asked, “Well, dear, what was it like being ten once more?” One eye opened, and she moaned, “Really, darling, It wasn’t about age.I meant dress size!”

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