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Hitler Jokes

Hitler Jokes

Here you can find the funniest Hitler jokes and other jokes related to Germans and Jews. Jokes about Hitler are a decent way to make friends on the internet, because they laugh at Hitler and love making jokes about him.

Hitler Jokes Only History Nerds Will Understand

Q: Why did Hitler murder himself?
A: He couldn’t pay the Gas Bill.

Q: What’s the difference between a cow and the holocaust?
A: You can just milk a cow for around 12 years.

Q: What did Hitler and Terry Fox have in common?
A: Neither could finish a race.

Q: What is hitler’s most loved planet?
A: Jew-piter.

Q: Why does Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he always finishes up in the bunker.

Q: How did German men pick up Jewish women in the 1940s?
A: With a dustpan and brush.

Q: Why did the gypsies also end up at the camps?
A: Because they stole the jews’ train tickets.

Q: Whats’s the difference between 90s Sarajevo and Auschwitz?
A: At least in Auschwitz they’ve got gas.

“Try not to joke about the Holocaust, my grandpa died in it.
He tumbled off the gatekeeper tower. ”

It’s Your Turn

A Jewish man was bouncing all over on a bluff, yelling “2345!” “2345”
A Nazi tagged along and indignantly said “Why are you acting so insane?”
The Jewish man advised the Nazi to remain at the edge of the bluff and look down, So the Nazi was imbecilic and he did, then the Jewish man pushed him off the precipice. He continued droning the number,”2346!” “2346!”

Hitler In Hell

What did Hitler say to Eichmann when he saw him in hell? if i knew you were coming i would have baked you a kike.

Hitler And Kaiser William

I see Hitler and Kaiser William at a burger joint. I ask them what they are doing. Hitler says they will slaughter 12,000,000 Jews and 3 clowns. I inquire as to why the clowns. William takes a gander at Hitler and says “I let you know no one would think about zee jews!”

A Favor

Hitler and Goring are remaining at the highest point of Berlin’s tallest radio tower. Hitler says he needs to do something that will brighten up the German individuals.
So gutting says “why not jump from the tower?”

Hitler wanted peace

A peace of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia and a chunk of Turkey.

Hitler Got Mad

Hitler was maddened by the anti-nazi jokes that were famous in Germany when he came to power. He issued a request to the Gestapo:

“Discover who’s responsible and convey him to me!”

So a Jewish comic, Y ossel von Goldbloom, was dragged into the Fuhrer’s vicinity.

Hitler thundered: “Did you imagine the one about me

also, the ***?”

“Yes,” conceded Goldbloom.

“Shouldn’t something be said about the one about me and the swine?” “Yes, me as well,” gestured Goldbloom.

“Also, the particular case that says the day I pass on will be a Jewish occasion?”

“That as well, I’m anxious,” admitted Goldbloom.

“You pig of a Jew!” shouted Hitler.

“Don’t you understand I’m the Fuhrer of the Third Reich – an incredible domain that will last a thousand years?”

“Ha! Ha!” screeched Goldbloom, falling everywhere, “that is grand! Anyway, you can’t blame me for that one – I never heard it!”

Hitler Assassination

There were two professional killers that should kill Hitler when he escaped from a meeting at one toward the evening, one o’clock moves around, no Hitler, two o’clock, still no Hitler, so at three the first professional killer swings to the second and says “Well I think nothing happened to him”

Who would’ve thought we’d be making Hitler jokes in 2016. Enjoy.

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2 comments

  1. A guy was drinking at a bar in Swiss alps.
    He notices a guy that looks alot like an aged Adolf Hitler.
    He walks and say, hey mate you look like Hitler.
    The guy says yes I am, I am plotting my next conflict WW3 to re-establish the 3rd reich.
    & this time there will no mister nice guy……………

  2. Q: why can’t Hitler ever go to barbeques

    A: he always burns the Franks

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