Marriage Jokes

Marriage Jokes

Funny Marriage Jokes

The collection of funny marriage jokes you could ever find on the internet. These funny jokes about husband and wife will make you pee your pants.

In-Laws

One Sunday morning, everybody in one brilliant, delightful, minor town woke up early and went to the nearby church. The townspeople were sitting in their seats and discussing their lives, their families, and so forth. All of a sudden, Satan showed up at the front of the church. Everybody began shouting and running for the front passage, stomping one another in a wild-eyed push to make tracks in an opposite direction from evil incarnate.

Before long everybody was evacuated from the church, except one elderly man of his word who sat placidly in his seat, not moving. Apparently careless in regards to the way that God’s biggest enemy was in his presence. Presently this befuddled Satan a bit, so he strolled up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The man answered, “Correct, beyond any doubt do.”

Satan solicited, “Don;t you fear me?”

“Nope, beyond any doubt ain’t,” said the man.

Satan was somewhat annoyed at this and questioned, “Why don’t you fear me?”

The man smoothly answered, “Been hitched to your sister for more than 48 yrs.

Color of Happiness

Going to a wedding for the first time, a young lady whispered to her mom, “Why is the lady wearing white?”

“Since white is the shade of joy, and today is the happiest day of her life.”

The youngster pondered this for a minute, then said, “So why is the husband to be wearing dark?”

I Am Always Right

A husband and wife had a thump down drag-out battle. The husband, encouraged up, yells at his wife: Just once I wish you’d accept that I’m correct! The wife shouts back: Just once, I wish you’d accept that you’re wrong!

“Fine!” the husband says, tossing his hands not yet decided. “I’m wrong!”

Taking a gander at him, the wife folds her arms over her mid-section and says: “Do you know? At last, something you’re right about!”

Lucky SOB

A couple received an invitation to the Halloween Party. She got an appalling headache and advised her husband to go to the gathering alone. He, being a loyal husband, dissented, yet she contended and said she was going to take some headache medicine and go to bed, and there was no need for his great time being ruined by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, in the wake of resting soundly for 60 minutes, stirred without torment, and as it was still early, she chose to go to the party. In as much as her husband did not realize what her outfit was, she thought she would have a ton of fun by watching her husband perceive how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the gathering and soon detected her husband cutting loose around on the dance floor, hitting the dance floor with each decent chick he could, and copping a little vibe here and a little kiss there. His wife steered up to him and being a somewhat enticing darling herself, he left his accomplice without a friend in the world and committed his opportunity to the new stuff that had recently arrived.

She let him go similarly as he wished since he was her husband. At last he whispered a little suggestion in her ear and she concurred, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little blast.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she disappeared and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, pondering what sort of clarification he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up perusing when he came in and solicited what kind from a period he had. He said, “Gracious, old news. You know I never have a decent time when you’re not there.”

At that point she asked, “Did you dance much?”

He answered, “I’ll let you know, I never at any point danced one dance. When I arrived, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some different folks, so we went into the sanctum and played poker all night. However, I’ll let you know… the fellow I lent my costume to beyond any doubt had a blast last night!”

A Demo

“My Darling,” said a spouse to his wife, “I welcomed a friend for lunch.”

“What? Are you insane?” The wife answered, “The house is a wreck, I haven’t been shopping, and I am not going to set up any meal.”

“I realize that,” the spouse answered.

“So why did you welcome him then”? She inquired.

“Since poor people imbecile is contemplating getting married.”

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