Political Jokes Bill and Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump,Bush and Barack Obama
Welcome to the best funny political jokes you could ever find on the internet. You can find jokes about Bill and Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, George Bush and Barack Obama.
A Politician picks up the phone and rang up the “self-help” line and said, “I’m tired of my life and am going to murder myself.”
The telephone operator said, “where are you right now”?. The politician replies “I am on the train track under the bridge.”
The telephone operator said, “please stay on the line”????
Al Gore and Bill and Hillary Clinton meets the God in Heaven.
God addresses Al first. “Al, what do you trust in?”
Al answers, “Well, I trust I won that election, yet that it was your will that I didn’t serve.
God thinks for a brief moment and says, “Alright, great. Come and sit on my left.”
God then addresses Bill. “Bill, what do you have faith in?”
Bill answers, “I have faith in pardoning. I’ve sinned, yet I’ve never held resentment against my fellow man,
what’s more, I trust no hard feelings are held against me.”
God thinks for a brief moment and says, “You are pardoned, my child. Come and sit at my right.”
At that point, God addresses Hillary. “Hillary, what do you have faith in?”
Hillary answers, “I think you’re in my chair.”
Two Irishmen were talking: The first asks, “Connor, you realize that gentleman Trump who is running for President?” Connor says, “I do Sean, I do.” “Well”, says Sean, “whenever he gets up to talk, I’d like to see somebody toss a shoe at his head”. “Oh no, now, you know shouldn’t wish hurt on anybody”, says Connor. “Gracious!” says Sean, “I do not wish him to get hurt, and I simply need to see Donald Duck.”
Power of Politics
Hillary Clinton was sitting in a car with her driver cruising along a countryside road one night when a cow kept running before the car.
The driver attempted to maintain a strategic distance from it, however, couldn’t – the cow was slaughtered.
Hillary advised her driver to go up to the farmhouse and disclose to the proprietors what happened.
Around an hour later, the driver stumbled back to the car with his clothes in disorder. The driver was holding a wine bottle in one hand, a cigar in the other and grinning joyfully.
“What happened?” asked Hillary.
“Well,” the driver answered, “the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their wonderful little girl made frantic, energetic love to me.”
“My God, what did you let them know?” asked Hillary.
The driver answered: “I’m Hillary Clinton’s driver, and I just slaughtered the cow.”
When the USA finished one years of occupation over Iraq, US President George Bush needed an extraordinary postage stamp issued for Iraq, with his photo on it.
He ASKED the Head of United States Postal Service, focusing on that postage stamp ought to be of global quality.
The stamps were appropriately discharged of the stamp; Bush started listening to objections that the stamp was not sticking properly, and he gets to be angry.
He called Paul Bremer and requested him to examine the matter.
Paul Bremer looked at the matter at a few post offices in Iraq, and afterward gave an account of the issue to Bush.
He said: “Sir, the stamp is truly of universal quality. The issue is, Iraqi nationals are spitting on the wrong side!”
Most Powerful Person
A teacher asked the students, “Who is the most powerful person in the US?”
A student replied, “The First Pet?”
The teacher replies, “Why?”
The student clarified, “In light of the fact that, the president stoops before him, converses with him, listens to him, tails him, inclines toward him to office staff, takes care of his well-being before the voters’, scratch off/concedes official obligations for him, and boards the Air-force One first.”
Puppies Are Grown Up Now
President Clinton is out running, and he sees a man with a few puppies. Clinton solicits the man what kind from puppies they are, and the man reacts, “They’re Democrat puppies, Mr. President.”
Clinton believes that is great to the point that the following day he conveys the first woman to see these puppies for herself. He requests that the man tell Hillary what sort of puppies they are, and the man reacts, “They’re Republican puppies.”
The president looks astounded and says, “Yesterday, you let me know they were Democrat puppies.” The man grins and says, “Yesterday, they were. But they have their eyes open today!”
One day Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, “Your Majesty, how would you run such a productive government? Please give me some tips?”
“Well,” said the Queen, “an essential thing is to surround yourself with intelligent and clever peoples.” Obama scowled, and after that asked, “However how would I know the people around me are truly astute?”
The Queen took a sip of tea. “Goodness, that is simple; you simply request that they answer a riddle.” The Queen pushed a catch on her radio. “It would be ideal if you … Please send Tony Blair in here, OK?”
Tony Blair strolled into the room and said, “Yes, Your Majesty?” The Queen grinned and said, “Answer me this if you don’t mind Tony, your mom and dad have a baby. It’s not your brother, and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”
Without delaying for a minute, Tony Blair replied, “That would be me.”
“Yes! Good,” said the Queen.
Obama did a reversal home to ask Joe Biden, the same riddle. “Joe, answer this for me. Your mom and your dad have a baby. It’s not your brother, and it’s not your sister. Who is it?” “I’m not certain,” said Biden. “Give me a chance to hit you up on that one…” He went to his advisers and asked each one, yet none could give him an answer.
At last, he kept running into Sarah Palin out eating one night. Biden asked, “Sarah, would you be able to answer this for me? Your mom and dad have a kid, and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Sarah Palin replied back, “That is simple, it’s me!”
Biden grinned, and said, “Much obliged!” Then, he about-faced to talk with Obama. “Let’s assume, I did some exploration, and I have the response to that riddle. It’s Sarah Palin!”
Obama got up, stepped over to Biden, and indignantly hollered into his face, “No! You dolt! It’s Tony Blair!”
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