Short Dirty Jokes

Short Dirty Jokes

Funny Short Dirty Jokes For Adults About Sex

This page shares the best funny short dirty jokes for adults about sex. These jokes contain dirty, rude words about sex which may not be suitable for kids.

Twist

Dirty joke: A kid fell in the mud.
Clean joke: He bath and washed up with bubbles.
Dirty joke: Bubbles was the young lady nearby.

Washing Machine

A husband and wife are sleeping, and the husband gets a bit horny so ask his wife “washing machine” (which is their secret mystery word for sex).She says “Not tonight darling, I have a fever”. So they both go to sleep.In the morning the woman is horny, so she says to the man “despite everything you need washing machine?” to which he answers, “no way darling, I just had a half load, so I did it by hand”.

Mother Daughter Joke

A mother strolls into her little girl’s room with a condom in her hand, “I discovered this while cleaning your drawers today. Are you sexually active?” The little girl answers, “No, I simply lay there.”

Paint My Home

A gentleman meets a hooker in a bar. She says, “This is your fortunate night. I’ve got an extraordinary offer for you. I’ll do totally anything you need for $300, the length of you can say it in three words.”

The gentleman answers, “Hey, why not?” He hauls his wallet out of his pocket, and each one in turn lays three hundred-dollar bank notes on the bar and says gradually, “Paint my home.”

Naughty Santa Clause

A kid writes a letter to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.” Santa Clause replies him back, “alright, send me your mother.”

Horrible Sex

A man and a lady began to engage in sex in a dark forest. After around 15 minutes of it, the man at last gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had an electric lamp!”.
The lady says, “Me as well, you’ve been eating grass for as long as ten minutes!”

Blowjob

A little girl requested that her mom how spell penis, her mother said you ought to have asked me the previous evening it was at the tip of my tongue.

Another Short Dirty Joke

A fellow goes to the store to purchase condoms. “Do you need a bag, sir?” the clerk inquires. “Nah,” the fellow says. “She’s not that ugly.”

Burning Calories

They say we burn off the same number of calories as running 8 miles during sex. Who on earth runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

Impotent Husband

A woman goes to her specialist, grumbling that her husband is 300% impotent.
The specialist says, “I’m not certain I get what you are attempting to say.”
She says, “Well, the initial 100% you can envision. Furthermore, he blazed his tongue and broke his fingers!”

Handsome And Hand SomeTimes

A professor requested that a student utilize “handsome” in a sentence.
The young student says, “When I s*ck my sweetheart’s penis my jaws get truly drained, so I utilize my hand sometimes”

Short Dirty Jokes Images

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