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Weed Jokes

Weed Jokes

Welcome to the best collection of funny weed jokes. Use these jokes when you’re high and make your stoner friends laugh. Feel free to share these jokes about smoking weed or marijuana.

Weed Jokes For Stoners To Make The Funniest Weed Moments

  • A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home. One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled. The guy limps up to the stoner and says “Call me an ambulance!” The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, “You’re an ambulance!”
  • Actual words that actually came out of my professor’s mouth during class
    Professor: Don’t throw the weed out with the bong water.
    Professor: Uhh, I mean don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!
  • So today at school someone was smoking loud today or whatever and made the school smell like strong ass dank. AND I GUESS THAT MEANS WE REALLY ARE A HIGH SCHOOL.
  • What happens when a pot smoker decides to change their life for the better? They turn over a new leaf!
  • Why did the man smell strongly of dope? Because a skunk weed on him.
  • Who does a pothead tell all his secrets to? His best budz.
  • How do you congratulate a stoner? Give him a high 5!
  • What did one marijuana leaf say to the other? We’re best buds forever!
  • A cop pulls over a car. He walks up to the car, the driver lowers his window and a cloud of weed smoke pours out.  The cop looks at the driver and notices his eyes are as red as a stop sign. The cop then asks the driver, “How high are you?
    The driver laughs and says, No officer, it’s Hi, How are you…
  • Why do stoners spend so much money? Because they’re high rollers.

Weed Jokes Images

Don’t forget to submit your weed jokes in the comments section. We would love to hear some jokes about your stoner friends.

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