This page shares the best funny lesbian jokes on the internet. Feel free to share these hilarious jokes for adults.
A lady strolls into her doctor’s office and says “Doctor, I have this horrendous rash.” She lifts up her sweater to uncover a vast “M” formed rash. The doctor answers, “Now that is the weirdest rash I’ve ever seen.” The lady clarifies, “Well my boyfriend goes to Michigan and declines to remove his letter sweater when we make love.” The doctor shrugs her shoulders, endorses some salve and sends the lady on her way.
The following day another lady comes in with a fundamentally the same rash. “How could you have been able to you get that?” the doctor asks. “My boyfriend goes to MIT, and he declines to take his letter sweater off when we have intercourse,” she says. The doctor recommends some moisturizer and sends the young woman on her way.
The third day another girl comes into the physician’s office, and she too has a major rash fit as a fiddle of an “M” on her midsection. “Give me a chance to figure,” the doctor says. “Your boyfriend goes to Maryland?” “No,” the patient answers, “My girlfriend goes to Wellesley.”
Q: How would you be able to tell an extreme lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table doesn’t have balls.
Q: Why do lesbians suck at cooking?
A: Since they eat out!
Q: What do you call lesbian twins?
Q: What’s a lesbian’s most loved creature?
A: A Whale because it has a 50-foot tongue and can inhale out the highest point of its head.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails?
My lesbians companions purchased me a Rolex for my birthday. I figure they misjudged when I said: “I wanna watch.”
Q: Why do lesbians make good carpenters?
A: It’s all tongue and groove.
A lesbian goes to a nutritionist because she has acid reflux. The nutritionist says, “It’s straightforward – your health will depend on the type of food you eat.” So the lesbian swings to her and says, “Would you say you are calling me a cunt?”
There once was a lesbian vampire
Whose cycle was quite regular.
So on each full moon,
She’d grab her spoon,
And drink herself under the table.
Two lesbians north of the town
Made sixty-nine love on the ground
Their unbridled lust
Leaked out in the dust
And made so much mud that they drowned
A lesbian strolls into a sex toy store and asks where the vibrators are.
“Come along these lines,” the charming lady behind the counter says, motioning with her finger.
“If I could come that way, I wouldn’t require the vibrator, would I?” the lady reacts.
A young woman, over the span of her school life, dealt with her homosexuality and chose to expose the pure truth.
Her arrangement was to advise her mom first; so on her next home visit, she went to the kitchen, where her mom was busying herself mixing stew with a wooden spoon.
Maybe anxiously, she disclosed to her that she had acknowledged she was gay.
Without gazing upward from her stew, her mom said, “You mean, lesbian?”
Still without gazing upward: “Does that mean lick ladies down underneath?”
Found napping, the young lady inevitably figured out how to stammer a humiliated positive.
With that, her mom swung to her and, shaking the wooden spoon threateningly under her nose, snapped:
“Don’t you EVER gripe about my cooking again!”
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