Man: You are the reason why men fall in love.
Woman :Thank you. And you are the reason why women don’t.
Man: Haven’t we met before?
Woman: Yes, I’m the receptionist at the STD Clinic.
Man: I can give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t usually accept inexpensive gifts.
Man: Your face must turn a few heads!
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs!
Man: Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason!
Woman: Yeah! To pick up some chicks!
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing.
Man: Hi! Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
Woman: Maybe once. I never make the same mistake twice!
Man: Baby, your body is a wonderland!
Woman: That’s funny because yours is a wasteland!
Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time!
Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.
Man: Hi girl, your place, or mine?
Woman: You go back to yours, and I go back to mine.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Away from you.
Man: Is this seat taken?
Woman: No, and mine will not be anymore if you sit down.
Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I’m a female impersonator.
Man: I will do whatever it takes to please you.
Woman: Ok, please me by getting out of my sight.
Man: I would go till the end of the world just for you.
Woman: Really? Ok. Would you stay there?
Man: If I can rearrange the alphabet, I would put “U” and “I” together.
Woman: Oh, how sweet. If you asked me, I would put “F” and “U” together.
Older Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: For the first half of it, I probably wasn’t born yet.
Man: So, wanna go back to my place?
Woman: Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK
Woman: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you before GLY
Man: I can make your bed rock
Woman: No you can’t, I have a Tempurpedic
Man: What do the math and my dick have in common? They’re both hard for you
Woman: You must be a math problem because you’re annoying and painful.
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