Jewish Pick Up Lines
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You had me at Shalom.
I finally understand the true meaning of the Sabbath. It’s to give a girl like you a rest from running through my mind the rest of the week.
Can I put out your burning bush?
Do you want something to attone for on yom kippur?
Is your Succah kosher? Cause the only stars I can see are in your eyes.
I would love to wonder in your wilderness for 40 years.
Once you go Jew, nothing else will do.
Do you want to shake my luluv?
If I raise my staff will it only part the sea?
God told us to go forth and multiply and I feel something going forth and multiplying as we speak.
I may not be elisha but will you open the door anyway.
You must not be kosher for passover because you’re makeing my matza rise.
Lets do it adam and eve style, behind some bushes.
Do you want to try my hebrew national hotdog?
Do you wanna spin my dreidel?
Can I come into your massada?
Which commandment do you want to break?
Want to party in my sukkah?
Are you Jewish? Cause the way you’re looking at me, I’m beginning to think Jewish I would kiss you.
Why is this night different than all other nights? I’ll show you why…
Do you want to try for 9 crazy nights?
My apples are just dying for your honey!
Don’t worry I won’t Passover you.
I’ll take you to the promised land.
Can I go into you garden of Eden?
Can I light your manorah?
Are you the massiah, beacuse I’ve been waiting for you.
God just told me there was going to be a flood and I’ve decided to save you.
Are you the milk or the honey I was promised?
That’s a nice-looking yarmulke you’re wearing, but it would look even better lying next to my bed tomorrow morning.
Got any Jewish in you? Want some?
All I want for Channukah is you.
Let me see your shirt tag, that’s right, made in Eden.
The first line of the Shma commands us to “Love the Lord with all your heart.” After meeting you, I don’t think I can keep that mitzvah.
The gates of repentance are always open…just like my heart for you.
I don’t care what the Torah says, I’m not leaving any of your four corners unplowed.
After getting lost for 40 years ive think ive finally found what I was looking for.
Girl, I wish you were a torah, so I could undress you and run my yad all up and down your columns…
Funny, I don’t remember climbing Jacob’s ladder, so how did I end up in heaven?
If your left leg is Rosh Hashanah and your right leg is Yom Kippur, can I visit you during the days of Awe?
Did it hurt when you wrestled with Jacob (because you’re an angel)!
This saltwater reminds me of the tears that came to my eyes when I first saw you.
Can I dip my maror in your charoset.
How about you and I make the dead sea come alive.
Even though it’s breaking a commandment, I’m worshiping you right now.
When you come to my house, the Mezuzah isn’t the only thing you will be touching!
Are u bat mitzvahed, cuz I need a woman?
I hope you’re not married, because I’d hate to be breaking the Tenth Commandment right here in shul.
Just like the Ner Tamid, my love for you burns eternal.
A woman like you makes me wish our mechitza were see-through.
In this shul, women are not called up to the torah. May I call you up at home?